Sometimes in life we are reminded of memories pushed far back into the corners of our mind. While brushing my teeth Sunday evening recounting the events of a busy–yet relaxing–weekend, I thought suddenly of an event that had taken place roughly five years before.
It was February and I was in a town called Slidell, Louisiana when I started questioning my relationship with an ex. We had just finished a long drive from North Carolina and were settling into a hotel room for the evening. Eager to get out of the car, we unpacked suitcases and began to unwind.
I knew the dawn was just a few precious hours away and we’d have to head back to the car to continue the drive to New Orleans, but for now I just wanted to bask in the present moment for all it was worth. I perched myself on the tiny patio, happy to take in the sunset with a glass of wine.
“Jackson,” I beckoned, “come outside, it’s beautiful out here.”
Jackson approached, took a look at the nondescript view of the parking lot, and exhaled.
“Charlotte, I’m fucking tired. We’ve been driving all day and all I want to do is relax. Besides, the view is nothing to write home about.”
He did an about-face and left me to my journal and thoughts.
There was a point in time when I agonized and replayed that moment over and over in my head. Now I barely remember all the details. It’s funny how our experiences can become utterly insignificant with the passing of time.
Fast forward five years and everything has changed. Though I may not have the funds to afford a trip to New Orleans at the moment and things have been relatively stressful, I pay close attention to the little things that matter. The way Bryan reaches for my hand when we leave the health food store. The softness in his eyes when he calls me his one and only. His reassuring words when I tell him about my anxiety.
I love to see him the way others see him. I hear the enthusiastic giggles and calls for “uncle Bryan!” that fill the house when he plays with his nieces and the way my friends and family rush to his defense when I tell them about a stupid quarrel we had. I love that I still get butterflies whenever I see him.
I’m starting to understand completely how important it is to hold on to the good ones and to practice open and honest communication always. I’ve decided not to sweat the small (and sometimes not-so-small) stuff and I’m going to let things come as they may. I don’t know what the future holds but I have no intention of taking any of the good things for granted.
Because really… What is life without love, laughter, and happy sunsets?
I took the lyrics in the title of this post from the song “Awake my Soul” by Mumford and Sons. I couldn’t think of anything more fitting.
beautiful post. Truth in all that you said. If only more people realized this instead of putting so much time and money into keeping up with the latest i whatever
Oh, so true. Funny how the small stuff gets us, isn’t it? Nice post.
Just lovely. I honestly believe that when you’re not in a relationship with the *right* person, with your *one,* then things aren’t going to feel the same way as maybe they do now. I’ve had my share of them, but I think I’ve finally found her. It sounds like maybe you’ve found yours, and that’s awesome 🙂
When we feel like we want to enjoy the moments rather than try and “work” on them to be better, that’s when it’s real. Thanks for sharing 🙂
I’m with you.
I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t fall in love with a sunset, or a sunrise, or a double rainbow.
I know me. And I’m too grateful for how beautiful the world is, to not be with someone who sees the green of the grass or the blue of the sky, the same way that I do.
It’s how your children learn to look at the world.
I can remember my little boy, when we wee on our nightly walk and he was 3, saying, “Mama! look at dat twee! It’s so booteful!”
<3'ed <3'ed <3'ed this! You are so right my darling. Finding someone who can appreciate you and the moments that you find spectacular is truly a unique thing. Someone who makes you feel important and valued and respected, well it's a rare kind of chemistry to stumble upon. I am so glad he is treating you well and that you trying out a different approach. Hope it continues to bring for you much peace and happiness! XOXO
It’s funny how memories that used to hurt us can now make us appreciate what we have. Life works in mysterious ways and gives us little nudges, and signs along the way. I’m glad you choose to look at them in a positive manner, to truly see those nudges and signs 🙂 That I think is one of the keys to true happiness.
I already loved you, Charlotte, but quoting Mumford & Sons took my adoration to another level.
Who we spend time with does impact our happiness. I find myself saying, “I can’t have them in my space.” I am so happy you can look back at the sunset memory and see it for what it was, but most important, see all that you have in your life today.
I am writing a similar gratitude post today as well. What a coincidence.
Happy Friday Charlotte!
I had boyfriends like that. It’s those moments when you know it’s over.
I’m always captivated by your stories…it’s important to find someone that appreciates you and the things you love. Great post.
I totally love that song!
And this is such a great life lesson. I’m glad you’ve found someone that makes you so happy and that treats you right.
It is amazing how those moments in our relationships define what we are willing to settle for. Love your blog!
You said it so well. Hold on to the good ones! I have family and friends who rush to Match’s defense too if I complain about something silly. It makes my heart happy to hear he still gives you butterflies when you see him. And as far as the moving in dilemma, I think you’re approaching it right. He knows how you feel, and he just needs time. Hugs!
This made me smile.
I do love seeing my husband across a crowded room. For all the reasons you mentioned here.