Like everything else around us lately, the landscape of blogging is changing. So many bloggers I’ve followed for years have closed shop; many without explanation, some reaching out to say that nothing feels right anymore and they want to move on.

Time is a strange thing these days. I can’t believe we’ve lived in an altered state of reality since March and that it’s somehow already August (what??) and that our baby just turned four months yesterday. Over the weekend I thought about my friendships and how those are shifting, too. I imagine this is largely par for the course for anyone who has recently had a major life change (new job, marriage, baby, etc), but this pandemic has muddled the waters immeasurably. Have you noticed that no two people are quarantining the same way? You start to pay attention when you are isolated for so long, fearing the worst for the ones you love.

The phone calls are infrequent. Invites nonexistent. Every single one of my friends is over the pandemic. Some obeying stay at home orders more than others (also I should add I’m not judging anyone, just making observations). A few weeks ago, Bryan and I joined his family in a church (with our masks on and we sat very far away from anyone). We then went out to lunch where we sat within six feet. Was it the right thing to do? I don’t know anymore. I did feel uneasy about it, but also it felt… like a new normal? No. That’s not the right word. None of this feels normal anymore.

I miss in-person connections. This is an unnatural way to live and I am so happy when I have the chance to catch up with family and friends via phone or text, email, and FaceTime, and occasionally in person. The FaceTime has been so beneficial in many, many ways—and yet sometimes I feel FaceTime fatigue. Does anyone else sometimes feel like they’re not always ready for FaceTime and please warn me before you hit up my phone this way?

It’s hard to find the words most days which is why I’ve largely kept mum here on the blog until the spirit moves me. I really do miss blogging regularly and I hate that I can’t seem to fall into a rhythm there. But I’m learning to do what I am able. On most days, that alone feels like an accomplishment.

How are you all handling the pandemic and how are you holding up mentally? Let me know in the comments, sweet friends.

PS: the message board above found a new home in our kitchen, at a table Bryan finally cleared up (hallelujah!). It’s one of my new favorite nooks in the home, but I think it needs more plants. Thoughts?

This morning I was texting with my bestie and she told me her wife is out of town for a few days and wouldn’t it be fun to do a road trip or something and my brain got so overjoyed because NORMALCY! I’ve craved it! So we devised this entire plan to drive to the city (and by that I obviously mean NYC for any out of towners) to pick up food from some of our favorite haunts. We both were limited by time constraints so would mission impossible it back within 3-4 hours.

But then it dawned on me that WE’RE STILL LIVING THROUGH A PANDEMIC. And maybe sitting in a car together to drive to the city wasn’t the best idea in the world.

My heart broke in a million pieces. That’s the stuff that’s hard to swallow some days—your brain remembers what the heart forgets.

(Also what’s strange is that I was able to process that there would be less traffic going to the city, but not why so much.)

And so we’ll have to shift gears and regroup—try to think of a restaurant that allows outdoor dining so we can socially distance and act like things are somewhat normal during these very unprecedented and completely bizarre times.

With all that being said, I’d like to dive into today’s gratitude list. Even though it seems like not many people are still blogging (hello?? IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE?) and even if we’re no longer doing a linkup. I applaud our amazing Lindsay for doing the linkup for so long, so please stop by her blog and show some love (along with my other bloggy sister Beth). Here’s my short but sweet happy list!

A trip to the library—it’s so rare I get to venture out (now more so since I’m back at work) but I saw they are now allowing customers to “window shop” books; if you see something you like, someone will check it out for you. Our library is also now totally contact free and doing an excellent job

New Sesame Street book I ordered (“We’re Different, We’re the Same”)

Chinese food takeout—we never have it because I don’t always feel the best after I eat it, but it was a rainy night and it hit the spot

Rainy days

Baby smiles and giggles. Mila full-on laughed this week and it was so brief but the sweetest sound in the world

Phone calls with my momma

The show “What Would You Do?” I love these weird social experiment shows; there was an episode that dealt with postpartum depression that hit close to home

This week’s menu. I’ve been cooking a lot and made stuffed bell peppers, crunch wraps (the Taco Bell kind but vegetarian and mostly healthy), and sautéed Swiss chard with caramelized onions on toast with cream cheese

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez <3

Tummy time!

That’s it for now, folks. Hope everyone has a beautiful weekend ahead!

Welcome to another edition of “I Got Nothing,” Special thanks to writing prompts because they keep me going on days when my brain hasn’t fully clicked on (keeping it real here, that’s most days lately). Also, if my answer to the “thinking” prompt sounds like you, let’s be friends! (if we aren’t already). Let’s dive in!

Thinking: about all the things this pandemic has taught me (trying to stay positive here). For instance: Bryan and I CAN survive extended periods of time together. About how the days are all jumbling together and maybe it’s because we have a new baby, but I have honestly never felt bored once during the pandemic. What a Kanye presidency would look like. Should I make more lemon bars? That I’m a better cook than I often give myself credit for but some nights it’s nice to order takeout. On my darkest days, I’m obsessed with the thought of millions of people globally taking a vaccine without knowing long-term side effects and wondering if this could mean the end of humankind as we know it (my friend tells me this is the premise of Steven King’s The Stand)

Enjoying: when I don’t have really dark thoughts like that last one about The Stand. Jesus Christ, Charlotte… what the hell? Lol

Feeling: good so far. The day is still young buahahahahahaha!!

Wearing: the wrinkliest grey linen pants with a black sheer top that says “I need a HUG………E bottle of wine.” That’s literally what it says (I even counted the …). My mom picked this one up somewhere and the punctuation and saying annoys the crap out of me but it seemed fitting for the day regardless

Needing: to train my brain how to speed read. I’m always so impressed with how many books you guys get through in a week and I’ve been stuck on one for a while now (though I really do love it!)

Listening: to Skype and text messages bing and SiriusXM in the background

Making: my to-do list for the day–must check on the status of my lenses that shipped almost a month ago. Need to make an appointment for the eye doctor and dentist (also need a babysitter, and I just realized I totally glossed over the “Needing” prompt where most of these should really go)

Eating: finished two peanut butter/walnut/banana/oatmeal/chocolate chip cookies I made two days ago. Considering yogurt for breakfast (or maybe an English muff…?)

Drinking: water with lemon

Photo by Maddi Bazzocco on Unsplash

Good afternoon and happy Friday, friends! How is everyone coming along and what are you doing to heal your heart during these weird times? Let me know in the comments. Some days I wake up and feel that all is right in my soul, and other mornings I struggle that we’re still in the thick of a pandemic with no way out and no foreseeable end date. The not knowing is what eats me up. Tell me I have to live like this until November and I won’t be happy but I can make it. But the thought that this is life as we know it and we just have to deal with it, buttercup–THAT is so hard to reconcile with. Ya dig??

Anyway, each Friday I link up with Lindsay and Beth and we share our gratitude for the week that was. Today is no exception so let’s get started!

Bryan’s niece had her communion last weekend. It was in a church and there were about 40 people clustered in the front rows. I was told there would only be 20 people and that everyone would wear masks (which they did), but naturally I had a mild heart attack anyway and ushered us to the back quickly. Sorry, but 1) pandemic and 2) new baby. It was stretching the limits of my comfort level

Eating outside at a restaurant — it was our first real outing since March! It felt a little strange, especially with baby, but a good weird I’ll just have to get used to 

A visit from one of my oldest childhood friends and her daughter. Wanted to go to the lake, but Mila was fussy, so we took our girls for a walk and ordered in <3

Texting with friends

Walks around the neighborhood—we have some of the nicest people on our block and surrounding area

This book I’m reading now (If I Never Met You). Also so glad the library near me has reopened so I can pick up books curbside and contact free! I can’t wait until Mila is a bit older and we can go to story time (that will happen again, right??)

My little garden–I’m only growing tomatoes, basil, lettuce, and hot peppers but they look incredible! 

That’s it from here. Tell me what’s making you smile in the comments, and hope everyone has a great weekend!

Ding dong my blog’s not gone! 

Y’all. I’ve said it before and I’l say it again, do not use GoDaddy as your site host. I’ve had one headache after another with them, which is ridiculous because there are like four of you that repeatedly come here and I’m not sure why there is an issue with SSL certificates and migrations and lord knows what else. Who cares–let’s move on to today’s gratitude. I’ve missed you all <3 

Here are some reasons for smiling this Friday. Life is weird right now, and I feel like… I need this. You need this. We could all use a bit more sunshine in our lives, right? Let’s dive in. Don’t forget to link up with Lindsay and Beth below!

Being back at work. It was a bit overwhelming this week, but also great to use my brain again. I’ve missed it! Here’s a pic of my knucklehead who doesn’t understand the meaning of no

My blog is back up and running

A day at the lake with our little pumpkin. When we first dipped her in the water she squealed like a little pig (LOL) but she eventually calmed down… and the lake was so warm that day! 

Great Italian takeout

HAMILTON. I can’t stop singing the songs and have been listening to the soundtrack while cooking. SO. GOOD! 

Our neighbors. It’s so nice to get to know everyone a little bit better on our walks around the hood. I don’t think they realize how much our brief conversations mean to me <3

Facetime with old friends

And also my mom finally learned how to Facetime! She called last night to see Mila and wish her a good night and my heart burst. Sometimes I lose my cool with her and I have to remind myself that this is as hard for her as it is for me