Photo by Christian Bowen on Unsplash
My mom called to sing me happy birthday on April 23rd this year.
My birthday was on April 3rd.
A part of me thought, maybe I should just play along, but I had to say something. We had already gone out to celebrate my birthday as we do every year (it also happens to fall around my father’s birthday and Mila’s birthday so we always celebrate the three together). And so I asked if she knew what day it was. She laughed and quickly changed the subject, but that conversation has stayed with me, because it means bigger and difficult conversations need to be had with my brother and my father who doesn’t believe in having my mom checked out (and that, my friends is a conversation for another day).
Anyway, the idea of elderly care is fresh on my mind lately as I find myself in a rapidly growing circle of friends experiencing what’s commonly referred to as the Sandwich Generation–defined as middle-aged adults simultaneously “squeezed” by the responsibility of caring for aging parents while also supporting their own children.
I hope today’s post is useful for many of you in the same boat. <3
Setting your elderly relative up in a care home can be a long and often emotionally difficult experience. Not only do you need them to accept the need for residential care, but you also need to find the facility that feels like the best fit. That process could be months in the making, and you’ll probably breathe a big sigh of relief when they’re finally in and settled.
But what happens if you start to get a nagging feeling that you didn’t choose the right option, after all? Perhaps you see things during your visits that you don’t love, or maybe your loved one seems less happy here than you’d hoped? Or, perhaps a simple change in circumstances has got you asking one key thing – is the disruption of changing care homes ever worthwhile?
We think the answer is a resounding yes, and we’re going to consider three scenarios where moving is undeniably the best option.
# 1 – Wellbeing Concerns
Concerns about your loved one’s well-being in their care home are the leading reason to undergo a move. After all, even seemingly small red flags like occasional understaffing or that one short-tempered staff member could end up causing significant harm. At the very least, these concerns can impact your loved one’s happiness. Unfortunately, in worst-case scenarios, families who have ignored these things have found themselves facing something as devastating as wrongful death from nursing home neglect. That’s a situation you’ll never want to find yourself in, which is why it’s always vital to get out quickly if wellbeing concerns arise. Trust us; the slight period of disruption is more than worthwhile for the safety you can ensure by acting quickly.
# 2 – Changing Care Needs
Sometimes, you’ll want to leave even a perfectly nice care home in the midst of a new diagnosis for your loved one. After all, a home that offers general care is rarely the best option for a loved one facing a new Alzheimer’s diagnosis, or even those in need of physical therapies, or more intense daily care. In these situations, sticking with the same nursing home could lead to escalating issues, which are best avoided by simply seeking a specialist facility as soon as possible. It is, of course, always worth checking whether additional specialist care packages are available in your current option. But, if not, it’s probably time to make that switch.
# 3 – You’ve Simply Found Somewhere Better
Moving care homes might be a disruptive process but, contract allowing, there’s no reason why you can’t move a loved one for the simple fact of having found something better. For instance, you might have found a more conveniently located option, or perhaps you just prefer the events and general amenities offered at a newly opened competitor. You’re well within your rights to make that move if you want to!
Changing care homes can be an undeniable hassle, but it’s typically more than worthwhile in these three situations.
Have you had to change care homes for an elderly family member? Let me know in the comments!
Leave a Reply