Today’s post resonates with me deeply because I am a part of the 50% of Americans who find themselves in the “sandwich generation” (per research from the Pew Data Center). This means we have a parent over the age of 65 and a child under the age of 18. Increasingly, women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s are taking on the challenge of juggling raising children and caring for their parents, and if you find yourself in this demo as well, you’ll want to continue reading for some steps you can take to excel in your role as caregiver.
Photo by Matthias Zomer.
Consider your loved one’s needs
One of the most important things we can do when taking on a caregiving role is to determine what a loved one needs and wants. It’s important that we talk to our parents about their preferences in terms of care and where they want to live, but also that we understand their requirements. The two may not always be aligned, especially if your parents are resolute about staying in their home or reluctant to let people they don’t know care for them.
In many cases, we can help our parents by providing help around the home, transport, and assistance getting to medical appointments / stocking the pantry (and uhm, throwing out expired items), but often, needs change. You may find that your mom or dad gets sick or that they need more intensive care due to underlying health problems or reduced mobility, for example. In this case, it’s wise to think about and discuss other options like specialist at-home nursing care, care homes, and assisted living facilities.
Find the best solutions
It’s not always easy to navigate caring for your parents, especially if their health deteriorates or they need specialist care. Often, we have to go against personal wishes or think outside the box to find suitable solutions. If you have a parent who experiences memory loss or is diagnosed with dementia, for example, it’s natural to want to find a safe environment that provides the best support possible, even if it means finding the best memory care facility rather than caring for your loved ones in their own home. Communication is key, but if you get to a point where you have to make decisions, trust your gut and know that you are doing what you think is best for them.
Take a break
If you’re looking after your parents, working, and taking care of kids, there’s no doubt that your schedule will be packed. Taking breaks is essential to rest, recover, and protect your mental and physical health. Simple things, like planning a free weekend, going to a weekly art or Pilates class, or seeing your friends once a month for dinner, can help. It’s also critical to lean on others. Get support from your friends, ask other family members to get involved, and try to work collaboratively.
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio.
Caring for elderly relatives can be tough, especially if you’re coping with deteriorating health or complex medical problems, or juggling looking after aging parents and kids. If you’re in this position, it’s crucial to consider your loved one’s needs and preferences, communicate openly with them, and identify the best solutions for them in terms of living arrangements and care services. It’s also important to take breaks, lean on others, and make time for rest, relaxation, and enjoying yourself.
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