I may have kept him waiting a few minutes this past Sunday. I probably could have walked just a tad faster, but at 11:30 in the morning and with temperatures already lingering in the 90s, I didn’t want to risk becoming a human Chia Pet. It’s not a good look for me. Ariel greeted me warmly when I finally walked into Boutique Eat Shop on 22nd, complimented me on my black Marilyn Monroe-esque dress, and we made our way to our table. I ordered an iced coffee and the crack-laced French toast (seriously some of the best I’ve ever had) and we caught up on life’s pleasantries.
This was our third date, and though I kept relatively mum about it, our second date was on a Saturday just a week before.
Our plan for the day was to have brunch, check out the Highline (which I had still not walked along), and then go to Chelsea Market. We decided to play the rest of it by ear (Ariel is clearly a planner; I prefer to stroll and stop for shiny objects). Despite the heat and humidity, the day itself was beautiful and Ariel was a perfect gentleman. He had recently broken up with a woman he had met on OkCupid and we spent much of the afternoon dissecting relationships and the meaning of it all (though we never did figure out either).
To escape the sun, I suggested going to see a movie but we couldn’t find a coinciding show time. He said he’d never been to Hoboken, I offered to show him around a bit, and so it was that he ended in my apartment. But no funny business. We continued our chat, noshed on some fruit I had picked up at the farmer’s market, and eventually left air conditioning to stroll through town.
Ten hours had gone by from the beginning of our date to the very end. As funny as this may sound, I don’t remember the last time I spent such a large chunk of time with someone I’ve either been set up with or met online. Though I can in all honesty say that I don’t have any romantic feelings for Ariel (though I wish sometimes that I did because he’s ideal bring-home-to-meet-the-‘rents material), I thoroughly enjoy being in his company. There’s a perfectly good friendship there and I’m happy to leave it at that.
Though sometimes my spirit feels broken, I have to remind myself that I can do this. In the ten hours I spent with Ariel, I was reminded of what it feels like to be this comfortable with a person again and I began to shed some of my insecurities about dating. With just a bit of romance, I’ll one day have my own “Before Sunrise” moment. Now I just want to enjoy the moments that matter.
I hate that people tend to think that every date has to either lead to a relationship or to absolutely nothing. There are plenty of people we may not connect with romantically, but that end up being great friends.
I’m glad you’ve found friendship with this guy!
The chia pet comment totally made me snort at my desk! It’s sounds like a lovely day, isn’t it funny how the ones that meet a lot of our “requirements” dont seem to be the ones that excite us romantically? I think it’s the universes way of reminding us to keep an open mind….not all that glitters is gold (romantically speaking).
Totally agree with KP. Sometimes you just have the best fun with someone and that’s ok. I had a similar type of day yesterday and if nothing else, I think we may be great friends. Glad you are moving forward and having fun!
I’m relieved to here there was no “funny business” 😉 that was quite a date – I hope the next one exceeds 11 hours; if you can handle being around someone that long it is a good sign *fingers extra triple crossed*
I really didn’t phrase that last part well, but I know you know what I mean 😀
I am in absolutely agreement with was Karen said!
And I love the human Chia Pet comment. I totally feel ya – I haven’t even bothered straightening my hair all summer because I know it won’t matter.
I’m glad you’ve found a new friend in all of this. There’s nothing wrong with that! AND You will have your moment! 🙂
“…crack-laced French toast” = BWAHAHAH! Gold.
Sounds like an awesome, fun-filled date, despite the fact you don’t have romantic feelings for Ariel. But no matter if you get a good friend out of it!
I think finding a friend you feel comfortable with and can have such an enjoyable day with is a truly a rare find and a definite success. I find it wonderful that you’re open to whatever this process brings you. Hopefully a relationship soon but if not, great friends that you can have for life! Lots of love dear. xx
Ahhh, yes. I remember going on SUPER long first dates as well (in fact Inspector Climate and my first date lasted FOREVER 9 hours maybe?).
and good friends are sooo important! So it’s great that you’ve got the beginning of such a relationship going for you!
it sounds like a lovely date! I adore that you know yourself well enough to know it isn’t *it*- but ti does sound like you’re getting closer! XO
It sounds like you had such a nice time. It is too bad when you want to have that spark with someone and it just isn’t there. Hang in there sweetie. At least you found a good friend in Ariel.
Sounds like a lovely day. I do wish there’d been some romantic feelings on your part. The goal is to enjoy 10 hours with someone you want to jump on, right? It shouldn’t be this complicated…but sometimes it is. (sigh)
eleanore – The Spinsterlicious Life
Aw, Charlotte, it sounds like you had a very nice day with a very pleasant man, but a thread of sadness is woven all the way through your recount of your day. It is so bittersweet to find someone who meets all of the requirements on your checklist, but with whom you have no sparkle or chemistry. It makes you want to shake your fist at the universe and yell, “WHY NOT ME? What did I do wrong?”
But it sounds like you have made a lovely friend, and he might have a lovely friend, and you just never know. You’re awesome and someday soon the universe will figure that out.
XXOO
Kelly
I’m sorry there aren’t sparks with him, but I’m glad you still felt rejuvenated about the dating scene.
If the chemistry isn’t there, you can ‘t force it. Of course it’s important for a love interest to have the intangible qualities that matter to you – similar interests, values etc. But you can’t discount the importance of physical attraction. If it’s not there in the beginning, it never will be.
That sounds like a fun day – and I’m not surprised you didn’t manage to solve all the mysteries of life & dating, even in ten hours! 😉
This is definitely a start and a step in a good direction!
I had to learn how to be friends with men again after my 3rd ex fiance basically left me at the alter before I could fall in love again. I was so battered, so bruised, so heartbroken that I just wanted all men to go straight to hell. Once I learned how to enjoy the company of men again…to know how good that friendship was, it opened me up to falling in love. I think you’re on a fantastic journey, darling..and while I know you are in a valley now, I’m so glad you have Ariel to walk with you. You have mountains to climb and someone very special to share the view with. I can just feel it.
Aww…sounds like you really had a fab time. Yes, you wouldn’t really notice the time especially when you’re having a nice time. Keep it up and make the best of every moment. ^_^
You never know…maybe something will grow, whether it’s love or a fabulous friendship!
HUGS Girlie!
Gosh, it was hot in The Great White North this past week… some days, it was hotter up there then it was down here!
I know what you mean about the broken spirit… it’s hard when you met someone and they are great, you can see it and you enjoy them, but there is just no spark!
This is really cool. I am at the stage where I just want to be friends with men and not date. I think that regaining that foundation with them will be good. Plus, it’s low pressure and we can never have too many friends. In the past, I have tried to have a relationship but had no real foundation.
I love Boutique Eat Shop. Sounds like a lovely, lazy Saturday in good company. Romantic, in a different way. Connections are always good. They expand the mind and spirit and keep you open. xo
Great that you found a new friendship and remember if you want that spark to be there, you might need to help a little bit. Only you know what creates that spark for you. If you just leave it all up to chance, expecting it not to happen, it will be a rare occurence to find that spark between you and that special someone.