I’m trying to put the events of the last few weeks out of my head. The summer is finally upon us and I have much more important things to do than to sit around feeling sorry for myself because some guy I went out with a few times did a complete 180. Plenty of fish, there’s a reason for everything, and love will find me when I least expect it. Despite the fact that I want to vomit profusely whenever I hear these expressions, they must be somewhat true since I hear them with such frequency.
But I still had a hard time writing a post for this week. I haven’t yet heard from the trainer and I can’t seem to shake Caleb. Not gonna’ lie: I’m bummed. I have a hard time meeting someone I feel a connection with and I tend to get excited when it does happen. And though I wasn’t really expecting a phone call from the trainer, I’m a little sick of guys asking for numbers without the intention of using them. Why bother?
On Friday night I met up with some friends after work for some cocktails at the Breslin (my new favorite spot, even though it desperately needs a happy hour) to celebrate a recent engagement. On Father’s Day, one of my friends went up in a helicopter with her boyfriend and he got down on one knee as they flew over Central Park. I don’t think it gets much more romantic than that. That evening, I took a train out to Long Island to attend my college friend’s fiancé’s bachelorette party. We took a party bus to some wine tastings, had a delicious lunch while we listened to some local live music, and hung out by the beautiful hotel pool. It was just what the doctor ordered.
Saturday night a few of us sat around the pool dishing on love and relationships and three of the four married girls confessed to meeting their husbands online. JDate. Match. Eharmony. It was oddly reassuring to hear some success stories but it made me wonder if I’m in the right headspace right now to attract a man. I work, blog, network, socialize, party, go Phishing, take yoga, and can’t remember the last time I came home to lounge on the couch for an evening. Where would I fit a boyfriend in?
I’ve also been increasingly paranoid that I’m not putting my best foot forward on dates. This blog has opened so many doors to me in the past year, but I’m not comfortable discussing this new passion of mine so early on and I wonder what kind of impression I’m making. If there’s one thing I don’t want, it’s for this blog to interfere with my love life.
One of my friends (shout-out to the lovely Nicole) told me that maybe it’s time I step back, breathe, and reevaluate. And I think she might be right. A weekend of Phish is just ahead and I need to stop worrying and just let my hair down for a bit. I’m going to do some soul-searching and will hopefully catch you when I’m in a better frame of mind.
Wishing you all the best for a happy and healthy July 4th weekend. Namaste.
I’ve been blog stalking you since yesterday morning hoping for a post…I was going through withdrawls LOL I understand being bummed about Caleb. I’m currently having some issues with a guy myself, and I’m bummed and being bummed makes me annoyed and cynical. Boys can just be stupid heads…brain damaged I tell you! Im hoping to just decompress here soon too…although I think it will be easier said than done. I hope you have a fabulous 4th of July weekend, you deserve it!
I think you’re definitely taking a good approach. The right guy will fit in your life without you having to give up your passions. Perspective is a wonderful thing. Enough cliches? 🙂 I hope you have a blast on your phishing trip (did I use the term right?) and come back rejuvenated!
I’ve been reading your blog for a while, and for the life of me, I can’t recall if I’ve ever commented.
Either way, here’s my take on it (and take it for what it’s worth):
I’m in the same boat. I find myself in a group of married or committed friends (committed? I love the double-entendre of the word) and on occasion, I get lonely and wonder if I’ll ever find love again myself. Then, I start looking for it, and that’s when my old friends Mayhem and Heartbreak step in.
I posted this in a comment on another blog last week in a rare moment of genius, and I think it applies here: Finding love is kind of like looking for lost keys…sometimes it’s not where you’ve already looked, but where you haven’t been looking.
I hope that you someday find it, but in the meantime, I hope you can find comfort in knowing you’re not alone in all of this. (and if you ever need them, I’ve got Mayhem and Heartbreak’s numbers on speed-dial)
Here’s what I think: do you have any male friends who can HONESTLY tell you what kind of first impression you make?
We can be b lind to ourselves, you know??
Maybe you sound too busy, or maybe you don’t sound interested enough or maybe they’re JUST not for you, you know?
Ask your male friends what they thought of you the first time they met you.
Namaste right back ‘actcha baby! I’m sending so much love and peace your way.
And let me know if you want me to kick anyone’s ass! 🙂
XO
Oh can I relate. A break might be just what you need.
Namaste and om shanti shanti shanti to you!
There have been some girls I’ve dated that I wound up really liking. Needless to say when they give me the “pretend like I never existed” treatment, that always hurts me as well. I think that really gives a definition to the “plenty of fish in the sea” statement as it probably just wasn’t meant to happen.
Increasingly I’m thinking these dating sites just aren’t the right way to go about any of this.
I hope you relax and have a good 4th!
Ouch that sucks. I really don’t understand the flakiness of men these days. It’s pretty hurtful. A lot of women I know have faced similar situations. It’s heartbreaking. I think that a week of music and friends will serve you nicely. Take care. Email me if you need to vent or just talk about the weather. Lol! Sending you peace & love! K
Sounds like it is time to stop and smell the roses. Feed your soul for awhile.
Hugs.
I have no doubt you’ll find what you’re looking for when you least expect it. I think you’re an awesome person and I know you’re going to find a guy that feels that way.
The only thing I can say about this is that I had just gotten left at the alter, basically, when a co-worker gave me Neal’s email address. I was not at all looking. I even sat on the email for like a week. It will happen but the best you can do right now is exactly what you are doing. Putting yourself out there while iving the life that makes YOU happy. Dating sucks. But Phish is exactly what the doctor ordered, I think.
Also, I was at a concert last weekend with a friend of mine, who is also single. There was this group of guys that sat up lawn chairs right in front of us. Make that very good looking group of guys. And then they started holding hands….
So I told Steph about your blog. She’s a lurker. She likes to read without commenting but you have another single girl reading the trials and tribulations of dating in your 30’s. ;-D
Happy 4th darling. Can’t wait to hear about PhisH!!
I realised I started wanting it too much and took a step back. Now I am just enjoying myself and not getting too invested in the whole dating thing. You have so many things happening in your life so don’t let a few disappointments in dating bring you down. Happy 4th!
sorry you’re feeling a bit beat up by the whole dating thing. You’re a pretty awesome person and deserve to find an equally awesome person to share your life with. hope your little break puts you in better spirits.
Awww sweetie, I’m sorry to hear, but I think your plan of stepping back and relaxing this weekend sounds like a good one. From everything I know (admittedly not much) the best things happen when we’re not planning/stressing over them. Happy 4th!
A mental break is always good. There’s clearly a lot more to you than your blog, so focus on the other activities. I think a lot of guys don’t “get” writing for fun or as a hobby. We know different, of course.
As I say, over and over, I met my husband on Yahoo Personals. It does work. You just have to kiss a loooot of frogs.
It’ll be great, no matter what happens. And if Yoga Dude doesn’t end up calling, his loss! Enjoy the weekend of phishing and live it up!
Dear, this is really a huge decision. Wish you will find your soul mate soon!
I imagine that the fact I think of dating as a necessary evil is probably the very reason I am such a failure at it.
I’m sorry things have been so frustrating for you! I know what you mean about not knowing when/whether to share your online life. I think you just have to do that when it feels right. Don’t hide it, but don’t overwhelm people with it either. The good news is that it’s pretty mainstream now. Just like online dating.
I happen to really like Empress’ idea. THAT would be so curious for me to hear, if I were you.
Let us know if you ask your guy friends!
such great advice from your friend. i couldn’t agree more. life is constantly changing and things that worked well 6 months ago may need modifying now. it’s different for every person too. there’s really no “this worked for me, so it will definitely work for you.” we all just have to explore our own path. sometimes that means following our intuition about what is natural for us, and sometimes that means trying new things to get out of our comfort zone. i wish you all the best as you take some time to reflect on your own path right now, and i have no doubt you’ll figure it out. life always works itself out.
I like your idea of stepping back and re-evaluating. And if it means blogging less so that you can spend time with an awesome dude – by all means choose the dude 🙂
It can be so hard when it feels like everyone else is meeting “the one” and you are stuck. I’m so there! Glad you are taking some time to reevaluate!
To tell you guys, never cry for those guys who turn 180 degrees, it was much better you’ve known him earlier.
Wow! This is a great decision for you to make. I hope you did the right choice and be happy for it.
One day, you’ll get to see the man for you, maybe someone you have met in the past, or someone you will meet in the future. Just be yourself and keep whatever is in your mind about the whole dating thing for awhile, and once everything turns out well, that’s the time you can feel excited about writing about it…
Hope you had a great Fourth Love! If you feel you’re overextending yourself and need a break to regroup, then you do! You’re awfully hard on yourself too. Can’t you just hang out and have a good time?
I hope you had a happy 4th. Miss you.
I hope you had a relaxing and revigorating July 4th wknd. I think as I get older, I’ve begun to take some solace in these sayings as well. I think they hold a lot of truth. I think when you find someone who you truly enjoy and vice versa, the time and space will find itself but I commend you on keeping your head up. You’re a wonderful person and if I just get that from your blog posts, then I’m sure you’re a stunner in real life. I’m convinced that it’s just the fact that there have been a lot of frogs, the prince will come soon enough! xx love.
Hey Charlotte!
I really admire and appreciate your thoughts,I can understand your mind state very well,I wan’t to share some thoughts of mine with you….Actually a true love does’nt need a person to be changed himself or herself in any manner,BE WHAT YOU ARE….If you are busy with your life and you are thinking that you don’t have a time for your boyfriend,then you are wrong at this point,because whenever a real person a true lover knocks your door,he never put any conditions on you,he will accept you in the same way as you are,he never ask for a time from you because he do evaluate the conditions and make himself understood that this is your way to live your life.And i must say and I’m very much sure about it that when it happens then you will also find time for your relation automatically.Thank You for sharing.
Good Luck and Namaste!!
God Bless!!
It’s nice to read your post. I really had fun reading it. Anyways, finding the right one is such a tough thing to do. Been into failed relationships and it’s hard you know, when you thought that you already have the right one, only to find out that in the end you were wrong. I hope that you just enjoy your time being single because the right one will just come along.
I found your blogs very interesting to read and I am hoping after resting your mind, I will be able to read more blogs from you. Good luck!