Earlier this week, the itch returned. No, not that itch (gross). It started a few weeks ago but I tried to ignore it because I knew that a vacation wouldn’t be possible for me at this point in my life (financially speaking, anyway). But then the travel bug came back with a vengeance and it’s all I can think of lately. I’m not sure if I’m looking for an escape but when life gets a bit complicated and hairy, I dream about packing my bags, abandoning all responsibilities, and skipping town for a bit. (As an aside, I have no business even thinking about a vacation with credit card bills to pay and 12 concerts lined up for the summer. So far. Oh well, a gal‘s gotta have a little fun, too, right?).
It could have something to do with my recent post about embarking on an Eat Pray Love journey but the idea of leaving it all behind to sit and meditate is sounding REALLY appealing to me these days. Or maybe I should round up the girlfriends, hit up the beach in my skimpiest bikinis, and tear it up at some awesomely cheesy nightclubs. Either way, I hope to have a plane ticket in my hand before the summer is over.
In my previous post I mentioned my involvement with men who are emotionally and physically unavailable to me. Against my better judgment, I’ve been seeing one of them on a regular basis (the one who lives with his girlfriend) and things have been heating up. I’d like to think I’d put the brakes on but I’m not sure I want to which makes me feel like a horrible person. I know it’s wrong, but who wants to fight temptation? Funny thing is, even if the stars aligned in our favor, there’s no way in a million years we’d ever be compatible as a couple. It’s simply a matter of lust. But his hand on the small of my back, the sex eyes, foot tango under the table, and a makeout session in a small hidden alley spells disaster and I know it as much as he does. But of course this hasn‘t stopped me.
My sex drive is out of control these days. I’m happy for the return of the libido but talk about shitty timing.
Against your better judgement?!?!
How would you have felt if when dating Jackson he was out cavorting in alleys with his newly single friends?
Nobody likes a homewrecker.
To overstate the obvious, it’s hard to be single . . . and once that “drive” takes over . . . it seems unstoppable. I’m sure you will use your best judgment when you need to. Just think–you don’t want to create more heartache and stress for yourself either.
Your comment about running away from it all . . . I’ve often said to friends. . . “Don’t you wish you could just run away from your life sometimes?” Especially when everywhere you turn there’s a mess!
It definitely sounds like you could use a break – find yourself an innocent holiday romance who hasn’t got a girlfriend 🙂
I know that being single is a crazy time as far as your sex drive is concerned. We have all made mistakes and have questioned our better judgment.
I will agree that you should probably stop seeing the guy if you think its not in your best interest to continue the relationship.
Oddly enough I have done the same thing – freshly single and I was sleeping with an ex that had a girlfriend at the time. She lived in another city hours away and that’s how I justified that it was okay. But he ended up hurting me even worse than when we broke up – lesson learned I guess!
dude that is such a sucky situation to be in! o (chanting) opt out! opt out! opt out!
but ahhh yes, a vaca. I seriously just consider getting a hotel room down the street. somehow that always cure the itch of vacation for me. for about 5 days. but WHATEV!
and 12 concerts??!?!!?!?!?!?! WHOA. sweet.
I love your blog. You are so honest and refreshing. With that, let me make my comment:
Scratch the travel bug, obey its command and ditch the guy. It’s a bad sign that he’s so disrespectful in his relationship. But what do I know? 🙂
You are right; a girl absolutely needs some fun time! Skip town and enjoy.
thanks so much for stopping in, suzie! i think you’re right. i need outta here for a little bit. could go for a margarita on a beach somewhere…
i’d like to think this wouldn’t happen if i were to have a relationship with him, but it’s way too soon to tell and it’s not even what i want at this point in my life.
but it does make me wonder if the “once a cheater, always a cheater” expression is accurate.
awww, thanks, liz 🙂 will try!
that sounds wonderful. i haven’t taken a vaca in what seems like ages so i don’t even care where at this point. just to get AWAY!
i know. it seems extreme, but 8 of those are phish. so does that make it better? 🙂 LOL!!
amanda, it’s funny how we try to justify our behavior. it does make me feel better on the one hand though that i’m not alone in having these thoughts. thanks for sharing and stopping by 🙂
i know! thanks, rachel 🙂
hey, caroline!!! yea, i know what you mean. i’d LOVE to run away from it all. but i’m sure that wouldn’t bring me the answers i need either. hope all’s well with you, hunny!
i would have felt awful. as i feel now. there is a LOT of inner turmoil where this is concerned, i hope i never gave the impression that i’m an insensitive human being without regard for anyone else’s feelings. i can assure you, that’s not the case.
We all need to take a break and get out of town once in a while… Thanks so much for visiting my blog!!