What I didn’t mention in my previous post is something that photos don’t convey. My trip to Ireland was many things: necessary, inspiring, and full of life lessons. While I had many ideas about what the trip would be like before we left JFK, there were a few bumps along the road I never expected.
Ireland nearly signified the end of a relationship.
One thing I have tried to make abundantly clear since starting this blog journey is that I never want to fool my readers, sweep things under the rug, or do/write/say anything that feels dishonest. And just like blogging through heartache, I think it’s important to blog through the parts of life that sometimes confuse the heck out of us, too.
The first few days in Ireland were like a dream. Jet lag hadn’t quite set in and Bryan and I went about our days bright eyed and bushy-tailed. Once we picked up our rental car (and Bryan got the hang of driving on the left), we drove to the Ritz Carlton in Powerscourt, a hotel unlike any we had stayed in before and one we never would have been able to afford were it not for a pretty sweet Groupon. We immediately learned how to pour the perfect pint in the Guinness Storehouse, breezed through main attractions in Dublin, filled our faces with delicious local fare, took bus tours, breathed in the sweet smells of the rugged plains, and stopped in small stores to chat with the villagers.
But when we made it to Galway, all hell broke lose.
So while we saw this:
this:
and this:
Bryan and I damn near almost killed each other.
Amidst the hustle and bustle of small-town village life and among the throngs of camera-wielding tourists we experienced a relationship meltdown of epic proportions. We sat in coffee shops and bickered, fumed over misconstrued statements, and finally parted ways for a few hours to cool off separately. In hindsight, I think a level of expectation and a failure to communicate resulted in frayed nerves. I regret the way we both reacted at the time, but I understand this is an important lesson in the grand scheme of things.
I’m so glad that I can think of that day in Galway now with fond feelings. Because the frantic phone call I made to my bestie and my irrational logic at the time made me realize that I have to work on my coping skills a bit more (communication issues notwithstanding). Who knew these relationships really DO require so much work, care, and coddling?
That all being said, Bryan and I are experiencing a very strange (but blissful) second honeymoon since we returned. Despite the added stress of celebrating our two-year anniversary pacing Dublin Airport for four hours, we have been enjoying a whole new phase of our relationship: one that includes open and honest communication, understanding, and, above all else a level of respect we have never reached before.
Survive a trip abroad together?
Check.
Thank you for being so open and honest. I know for certain that Dave and I would probably try to kill each other at some point during an overseas trip. Heck, on a 4-day Chicago getaway we only spoke to each other when we needed to. Luckily another couple was with us to break up the tension. You definitely couldn’t tell by the photos, but it wasn’t great. We did have a lot of fun times though and that is what I choose to remember mostly. I am so glad that you both survived the trip and that your relationship survived. I am sure that this has only made it stronger.
Oh boy, can I identify!
I did a western Europe road trip with a (now, ex) boyfriend. There was an EPIC meltdown, on his behalf, after getting lost, which made me realize I could not spend my life with someone so irrational and overly-emotional. The moment when I definitely knew it wouldn’t last (yep, same trip!): when, in Paris, I was thinking how awesome that trip would be with (a very specific) someone else.
Vacations really are a test of a relationship that EVERY couple should experience — good or bad. (I’m glad your outcome was good 🙂 )
I can relate in some ways, even though mine doesn’t involve traveling. Match and I have reached epic fight status when it comes to the exhaustion of dealing with a newborn. I think stress plus exhaustion, be it from traveling, or life in general, can create havoc in a relationship. I’m so glad you both made it to the other side. I think you’ll be stronger because of it!
I loved this post!
The overseas vacation. The absolute relationship litmus test, fortunately it’s temporary and a good indicator of what may happen long term.
I am glad you weathered the storm. That is an all important test and one learns so much from that lesson. Keep them ever in front of you as you guys move forward.
Isn’t it funny how vacation can bring out both the best and the worst in a relationship? I’m a travel BITCH. The minute something happens that isn’t to my liking I freak out and turn into a crazy person. I bitch and complain and get mad and typically this all gets directed at who I’m traveling with.
I’m really happy to hear you two were able to work through things and that you’re enjoying a second honeymoon. You’re right – relationships take SOOOO much work. But the good relationships are SO SO worth it.
I’m so glad you were able to work things out. Fighting is always rough, but when you’re traveling and tired and all, it can just make it feel that much worse.
i hear ya! i’ve been on a ton of trips with boyfriends even my now husband that totally derailed! like…what the hell am i doing with this person?! i don’t need this person. my life is so much better on my own. yup, been there, done that. relationships are not all roses.
oh, that was beautiful.
yes, many times, I think back on how i’ve been, and I wish I would have been kinder, Just. KINDER.
Glad for the happy ending.
xo
I’ve had trips like this before with Dan, sometimes things can all come to a head in the least ideal situations imagineable. Just be thankful you resolved it all as it obviously did need to be addressed! :).