Tonight I decided to compile a list of things that don’t suck about living alone. Because let’s face it: I signed a one-year lease and I still have a good eight months (at least) to go. Might as well make the best of it. So, things that don’t suck! Drum roll, please…
1) I can do whatever I like on the weekends. I’ve been thinking of this a lot lately because it seemed Jackson and I always had to buddy up and attack all errands together. Was going to Staples such a romantic experience that we had to do it as a team? And as much as I loved his family (still do), there were times when it would have been nice to opt out of some family obligations. But in all fairness, I really did love that stuff and I often looked forward to getting together with all his cousins, aunts, uncles, parents, and grandparents to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, and christenings.
2) I get to keep all the leftovers I make for dinner. That’s right: more tofu and seitan-y goodness in my tummy. I have a problem figuring out portions when I cook so I was never quite able to make a meal for two with enough leftovers for two. So whatever was left over, I would wrap and give to him so he could bring it into work the next day. In a brown bag which I had labeled with his name and a heart, because apparently I liked to think of him as my five-year-old son. I also can’t tell you how many omelets I screwed up when I first started living alone again because I was so accustomed to making them with three eggs as opposed to two, which seemed to throw off the whole balance of breakfast.
3) I can sing and dance as loud as I like to Tori Amos, Ani Difranco, and Brandi Carlile, artists Jackson never really understood or took a liking to. I was never that upset that he didn’t want to see any of them in concert with me because going to see them was an experience I enjoyed immensely and he would have sucked the fun right out of it. But in all honesty, these women REALLY understand me and that‘s why I show my support with interpretive dance in my living room. “I am writing graffiti on your body, I am drawing the story of how hard we tried.” I mean, really. It’s just fucking brilliant.
4) I can wear obnoxious patchwork pajama pants to bed again. Okay, ladies. You’re getting your groove on with a special guest and he spends the night. You head to the closet and pull out your sleepwear. Do you grab a) your pajama bottoms with cartoon bugs all over them (the ones that say “don’t let the bed bugs bite.” Don’t make fun–I own a pair of these), b) the cutest boy shorts and the tightest tank top you can find, or c) nothing! You sleep in the buff because it’s sexier that way. If you answered either b) or c) you are misleading your romantic interest. I did this. But Jackson learned soon enough that I owned a lot more embarrassing pajama pants than I did sexy lingerie. Because I’m sorry, but I’m not sleeping with a thong up my ass! It’s just not comfortable and I don’t care what you say about new satin whatsits or no-show panties. See, I’m telling you this because I want to lay all the cards on the table. I do not iron in high heels nor do I wear cheekies with an apron. It ain’t happenin’ (go see Mariah. I heard she does the tread master in stiletto pumps). I do, however, have an adorable pair of pajama pants with snowflakes that will make you SWOOOOOOON!
5) I don’t have to shave my legs every five minutes. There’s really nothing more to say on that, but it’s quite liberating in a Jane-of-the-Jungle kind of way.
6) I can go back to my sleeping (or rather, snoozing) habits. Pre-Jackson, I had developed a system that would soon become the envy of my friends (not really) and it would drive my roomies up the wall (that much is true. And there are quite a few of you of you out there so feel free to chime in!). I like to set my alarm clock for a full hour and 20 minutes before I get out of bed. I listen to the radio for an hour (I have one of those iHome things), then it shuts off automatically and I lay* in bed, thinking about how much I don’t want to move for the next 20 minutes. Once I made the mistake of doing this when I lived with Jackson and he dumped a glass of cold water on my right ear. I’m not even kidding. Oh, it feels good to snooze again…
* lie? Damnit, I always fuck that up. And yes, this is what I do for a living, but I‘m not looking up the rule in my grammar book, so suck it.
7) The toilet seat. This topic makes my blood boil just thinking about it. Why was it so impossible for Jackson to remember to put it down before leaving the bathroom? I haven’t officially taken a poll, but I think it’s safe to assume that women don’t like to stare into the mouth of the toilet bowl when they walk into their bathroom. There was also an issue with the toilet paper rolls but this was covered on an episode of Mad About You and Helen Hunt does a very good job of explaining her disapproval. Anyway, that was also annoying. But toilet seat wins for blood boiling.
And that’s all I got. Please feel free to send me your reasons of why it doesn’t suck to live alone! I’ll even post the good ones here.
Ok, so, I don’t live ALONE, but I live without the ex, so I think I can contribute my own top five:
1. All the closet space is yours to put WHATEVER YOU WANT IN IT. That’s right. 400 pairs of shoes? SHOVE EM IN!
2. You don’t have to answer any questions. “What are you doing?” “Why are you doing that?” “What are you watching?” “What’s it about?” “What’s for dinner?” “Aren’t you going to do the laundry?”
3. (to be added to bathroom etiquette) No shaving scum/hair/residue in the sink for you to clean. SKEEEEVE. I hated this more than the toilet seat up.
4. No sports on TV. EVER. Unless you want to watch it. And if it’s doubles ice dancing, then you watch it all you want!
5. No boy smells. I don’t think I have to go into detail here. But my nose is also happy to be single. 🙂
Holy CRAP! Can I tell you how much this made me laugh?! I can completely identify with all of those things, from the pj’s to the toilet seat. I think you captured all the really important ones, but I do have a personal one. Now that I’m single, I can eat all the goddamn sourkraut I want in peace and not have to listen to someone whine about how much he hates the smell!
May Singletons the world over rejoice in the glory of being free to do as we please! xoxo
From a male perspective:
We can have guy smells and sounds with a primitive male sense of pride.
We can let ourselves go and still think we’re looking good in the mirror.
We don’t have to hide the fact that we are checking out other women.
And just curious, but why can’t women leave the seat up?
Toilet seats. I’ll turn it around on you: Why don’t you lift it up when you’re done so we don’t have? You should be thankful we do lift it so we don’t piss all over it. You’re welcome.
Ooo i never thought about that, girl lifts seat for guys!
I have to say…I LOVED living alone. I lived alone for years and it was the best and most independent time of my life. It was such a nice feeling to know that everything surrounding you is yours. 🙂
I really like your blog! I read your about me and it reminds me so much of things that I have been through. Trust me…it does get easier and you will probably end up really enjoying your own personal space and find it hard to give up when the time comes! (I did!)
My guy is away for a couple of months and although I miss him, there are some fringe benefits to him being away –
1. I love having more free time
2. Somehow the house just doesn’t seem to get so messy or dirty.
3. It’s summer over here so I don’t need a big meal for dinner when I’m on my own.
4. I don’t need to answer “Have you seen my (fill in possession that just happens to be sitting in the middle of the room where he left it)?” questions.
5. With you on the shaving scum Nicole!
Guys – just one of the reasons you should leave it down: nothing worse than stumbling out to the loo in the middle of the night and – assuming the seat is down – falling in the toilet. Bloody awful way to wake up.
I loved living by myself. I’ve been living with my boyfriend for 2 years now and some days I just wish it was only me again. I really liked it when I came home and the candy or cookie that I was dreaming about all day was still there and not already eaten. Or when I could make it through an entire episode of Grey’s Anatomy without someone whining that they “hate this show”. Or step onto a dry bathmat as opposed to a completely soaking wet one. I could go on for days…
Charlotte,
Thanks for visiting and for commenting. I’m glad you stumbled by 🙂
Well I can tell I’m going to love your blog as I love this post about why it doesn’t suck to live alone. I don’t actually live alone because my mom moved in with me this year and I have a grown son age 23 living with me. But no significant other and you know what doesn’t suck about living alone?
I can eat anything I want. I can have pizza for breakfast. I can have popcorn for dinner. I can have chocolate chip cookie scrambled egg omelets when ever I want…actually I’ve never had one and it sounds horrible, but if I wanted one, I COULD!
You had me at “obnoxious patchwork pajama pants.”
(Wait- they aren’t hot?! Crap!)
Thank you for stopping by Pajamas and Coffee- I think your blog is absolutely lovely! You should definitely think about coming to NYC for BlogHer ’10 if you can- I am looking forward to meeting bloggers in real life I’m used to seeing online/on Twitter!
Hope you stop back again!
Rock on doin whatcha do, sister! That’s my advice!
xo
m
p.s. i have four kids so i am very jealous of your happy living alone list 🙂
i love your site, too! i will actually add a link to it as well 🙂 thanks for stopping by, m! i actually work in the city and live close by so i’ll see what i can do about attending (really it’s just a financial issue at this point).
yea, i didn’t realize that patchwork pj pants aren’t cute. what’s a girl to do?! :p
omg, you are so funny! wait, what’s wrong with doing the tread master in stilettos? i do it all the time! don’t i wish that were true…i’d have to work out before i could do it in heels! 🙂 and hey, you know what? rock your patchwork pj pants – you’re entitled! great list – loved it all. looking forward to the next entry. xoxo
You’ve forgotten my number one: eating cereal for dinner, in one’s underwear, while watching TLC on full volume.
All more than valid reasons, and I support you (and them) wholeheartedly!
Love your blog and thanks so much for visiting mine (I’ve responded to your comment there, heh heh).
And good GOD, stilletos on a treadmill…
::shudder::
I used to idolise early- to mid-90s Mariah as a kid.
(Now SHE was cool. :P)
Great List! I like the point about the leftovers. Now also you can eat YOUR leftovers at 3am if you want!
Yes, it cool you can listen to the music you love whenever you want… but you can also watch YOUR favorite shows & movies whenever you want now too. BRING ON the chick flicks, if that is what you are into. No wasting any more of your time on action movies like Transformers, unless that is what you are into!
I used to say when I was single that I was dating myself & it was a perfect match.
ME & MYSELF: We like the same music, movies, food, sleeping habits….etc. 🙂
ENJOY YOU & YOURSELF!
Loving your blog girl! I have not lived alone in quite some time but there are some days i truly miss it.
Living alone means- when you return after being gone all day or away for a few days the house will look exactly the way you left it. I can not count the times i have returned to find the place disgusting and dishes in places where dishes do not belong!
Living alone means- you can watch whatever you want. I get tired of asking if i can watch my wonderfully horrible reality shows and listening to groans. I get tired of having to watch the hx of concrete and stuff like that. I get tired of having to rush to the tv and get there before he starts a xbox game that he always claims he just can’t stop till he reaches a certain level.
Enjoy living alone girl. I am a bit jealous.
Why did you allow him to do all if these things to you. I think if you would have respected yourself more he would have.
Hello, Alysha,
Thanks for visiting! I don’t think it has anything to do with respecting or not respecting one another. Because there was a great amount of love and respect there for both of us. But after a while of living together, you fall into some patterns and neglect certain things. I am not perfect either, and I’m sure he could come up with his own list of things that drove him crazy about me. But such is life. We have to learn from these things or else, what is the use?