Last Wednesday after my bikram class I locked eyes with a cute personal trainer I initially met on the Path train a few weeks ago (sadly, also after a bikram class). “Look at you!” he said loudly from the other side of the train. He didn’t actually say “you’re a hot sweaty mess!” but I’m sure he was thinking it. The last time we had spoken, we had a very friendly conversation about yoga and working out until I spotted my cousin and his girlfriend and I politely excused myself to chat with them. I told him we had to stop meeting this way (with me beet red and sweating through my sweatshirt).
He casually shrugged his shoulders. “Why not?” he smiled. “Means you’re active. In bed.” I’m kidding. He didn’t actually say that last part but I like to ad lib.
The train started to fill as we made all the stops back to Hoboken and I wedged myself next to the doors, counting down the minutes until I could step back out into the cool, refreshing evening. Beads of perspiration gathered on my forehead and I cursed myself for being out in public looking like a ginormous red-faced, sweat-stained a-hole.
“Are we going to be the first ones off or the last?”
”What??” I whipped my head around so fast I felt the blood rush to my face again. Sure enough, the tall blonde guy to my left was clearly chatting to me.
“Oh, uhh… I’m not sure. There’s a good chance they’ll open on this side.” I winced at my pathetic response. The girl standing to his right attempted a half smile but the look on her face clearly indicated she thought I was a circus freak. In all fairness, it’s a pretty accurate description of what I must have looked like at the time.
Why are these the moments in life when men want to strike up a conversation? My face is burning, I’m dying to remove my sports bra, and I’m struggling under the weight of the soaking wet yoga clothes in my gym bag. All those nights spent coordinating outfits, applying mascara, and putting on those uncomfortable high heels and wondering if men think I’m a leper since they seem to stay as far away as possible… Have I been doing it wrong this entire time?
Maybe I should just hit up a steam room, properly frizz out my hair, and wait until my face takes on the sexiest hue of fire engine before I paint the town red the next time.
LOL. I kid you not I was just talking about this phenomena with one of my friends. Why is it when I look amazing and polished I am invisible but when I look like a drowned cat everyone wants me? So strange!!
P.S. I love when you ad lib. I almost burned my mouth on tea laughing so hard.
You know what it is, no joke…pheromones! I shit you not. There was a perfume out called VULVA. I wrote a post about it a LONG time ago! http://www.randomblogette.com/2010/04/mulva-2/
If a guy is talking to you when you’re a Hot “sweaty” Mess, imagine what he’ll think when you’re all dolled up! This is not a bad thing!
There’s somethign about women when they aren’t all dressed up that guys seem to find sexy. it’s like in the song by Joe Nichols “Gimme That Girl”. I think guys like to see us when we aren’t necessarily hiding all of our flaws from the world. It makes us more real, more attainable…or at least that’s what I’ve been told before.
I think perhaps men (and this is me talking strictly from a male perspective) just probably find a girl more “real” when someone isn’t dolled up. I mean, we see all of these “dolled up” girls all the time either on TV/Movies with all of those glamorous stars or out on a Friday/Saturday night. After a while like anything, folks get “numbed” to it as it just like everything else we see.
When I see a girl who clearly has had a “glamor up” session, I avoid them. Mainly because with my luck with women, I think the girl clearly thinks shes better than folks around her and her mindset is that she can have any guy she wants, usually perfering to chose a chiseled supermodel over the “Average Joe” that I see myself as. When I see a girl on the subway who has a more “grounded” look, that usually means that I wonder if I can go and talk to her, she may be a nice person.
I could be wrong about guys in general, I was never known for being that in touch with humanity, let alone being in full touch with the “guy code” everyone usually scolds me on.
I guess this is a classic case of murphy’s law, huh? This usually happens to me when I’m at gym — when I wear my old man t-shirt and a dirty ponytail, there are tons of eligble men on the treadmills. When I wear my cute pink workout gear and throw on some water-proof mascara it’s the gym is empty. So annoying!
haha awwww Charlotte! I totally would’ve said something waaaayyy more lame – fear not. I’m sure he thought you were SUPER cute and adorable! 🙂 He obviously liked what he saw otherwise he wouldn’t have pursued a conversation, promise! xx
Ha! That’s a new strategy on the dating game. But if you are right, you could start a post-gym workout dating movement!
Oh pls. I’m sure you looked like….you just worked out! We’ve all been there. You’re so hard on yourself!
Maybe because they see then for exactly what you are- lovely, darling, smart, fun and REAL. What we all want, right?
Between you and me, I really loved the “in the moment” descriptive tone that you took here. It felt like I was reading or seeing a scene.
Loved the post, and love you, as always!
XO
i know, right??
I went out saturday night, looking like the girl next door. on top of that, i was dancing to 80s music at the bar’s 80s night. in fairness, im 38, so im the type that wanted to be there and dance to high school era music 🙂 anyway, im in jeans, sandals, cute shirt, not dressed to impress like most women there.
Late into the night im sure my makeup was gone and hair wilted. i told the friend i was with that i thought the tattooed bartender was the hottest guy there.
turns out the hot bartender with the killer smile had noticed me already, and wanted my number!! he pulled my friend aside, they are friends, and asked about me without knowing i had this opinion of him. he comped my drinks! i gave her permission to give him my number.
ive been separated almost a year, in my state you have to be separated for 366 days before you can file for divorce. (do not move to north carolina!!!). I could have started dating last summer, i have never expressed interest in a guy. was not ready after 13 yrs of marriage.
but yeah, i must have looked safe. or something. maybe thats the thing… they are intimidated when we are in the heels and skirt, and they are less intimidated when we look like real people? who knows.
you seem to be rocking the post workout look. own it, girlfriend 😀
Giggling… remember in high school when you used to kid around with your friends by adding the phrase “in bed’ after everything they said… or maybe that was just last week that I did that?
The last time I struck up random conversation while traveling (granted I drive my car everywhere, so it’s not quite so easy) it was right after the tornado went through. Power lines went down across the major highway and we all got stuck, so I got talking to the guy in the Mustang next to me. Yes, me in my 8 year old SUV with the duct-taped window who had been helping her sister move all day… dirty, sweaty mess and so was my car…was talking to guy in suit in a shiny new Mustang!
Newest post: Southern Belles…
Guys talk to sweaty girls on the train because we know off jump street you are confident and you are comfortable in your own skin. So we can confidently check off that you are not a crazy high maintenance chick.
Plus I think guys are more confident with girls who are “dressed down” or sweaty as you appear more vulnerable.
My own personal take is when I look at a sweaty girl, I am actually seeing the girl, not this image you are presenting to me at ever other waking moment.
I personally love the occasional wet dog look. It is a sexy look on girls. Your bangs are over your eyes which is a very cute look as it causes us to look at your eyes, plus we notice your other curves (lips, hip, behind).
But don’t let these comments cause you ladies to throw out those dresses. We love when you gals dress up.
I love that someone posted about “Gimme that girl”. The Joe Nichols song is a great song and really spells out how simple it is. Yes, “gimme that girl with the hair in a mess, sleepy little smile with her head on my chest.”
Now that I lost everyone one. Hey girls guess what, as a whole you are really attractive and sometimes your makeup covers up how gorgeous you are, so when you are hiding under your eye liner, blush, mascara, push up bra, etc…, we can’t see your beauty, it takes only you being exposed for who you are for guys to be attractive to you. For ex., I know this girl who has beautiful eyes, but as soon she places make up on, she loses the beauty of her eyes
Ugh oh no! Well… it happens to the best of us.
Ha ha. Men are such funny creatures.
I say it just means you look hotter than you think. And I mean that figuratively, not literally. haha
btw, My friend has been to 230 5th and had a great time. I really want to check it out if it ever stops raining and warms up.
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a lot less effort and it seems to be achieving good results…I say you stick with it…
I think most guys will tell you they like a girl natural. The first time I met my husband was at my house and I wasn’t expecting company so you can imagine what I looked like–no make-up, hair on top of my head, etc., etc. At least he knew from day one what he was getting.
I think we all have it wrong. I HATE when my man is sweaty, but he LOVES when I am sweaty and have just come out of a workout, I think it is a primal thing within men. Women (generally) don’t like sweat and stinky sweaty guys turn us off (usually), but they are big and stinky so when we are sweaty, we don’t stink to them and a little sweat makes us slippery…uhh…you can use your imagination after that one!
Totally agree with the comment about pheromones…yoga is powerful and you’re probably releasing some attractive stuff! If guys want to talk, go with it. They can see you fixed up later…Love the comments from your male readership..clearly not every guy is looking for a barbie doll!
Isn’t that always the way??
There’s this one guy I always and only seem to see when I’m looking my worst.
Yuuuuup…just goes to show that guys always love girls at their most natural (and I’m sure you looked radiant and awesome, by the by!), because their true selves come through and the girls are, therefore, “more accessible”.
Or something. Heh heh.
But seriously, sometimes naturally pretty girls like yourself, when they put on makeup and glam up, they end up intimidating the guy. I know, I’m just SO WISE. Muhahah.