So far, I’ve had a bit more luck on OKCupid than I did on Match.com. But it’s far from a walk in the park, let me tell you. I’ve been emailing back and forth with one guy who seems interested in keeping this relationship online only. Then just yesterday I received an email from someone who, when asked what people first notice about him, responded by saying “I don’t talk much.” Oh, and let’s not forget about the guy who said he hates it when men discuss the size of their manhood in their profiles… only to finish by saying that women would be very pleased with the size of his manhood.
Oh, and it gets better.
A few nights ago while doing a keyword search for Phish on OKCupid (as I do), I came across Ethan’s profile. Same guy who told me he was too busy to hang out had a profile on another dating service. And he was active! Too busy my ass.
I could allow these events to stop me in my tracks, but I refuse to allow that to happen. I realize that putting myself out there means it’s essential to have a healthy outlook on the dating world. It’s not always easy, but I have to remind myself that I deserve better and I won’t dare settle for anything less.
Because every now and then, a nice guy comes along.
I found Nate’s profile the other night (turns out we’re 90% compatible. And we met at a party a few weeks ago and have friends in common, but that’s for another post). He’s a kind, funny, smart, liberal, and handsome boy from Brooklyn. He posted a pic with his mommy and a link to beagle puppies. He believes in bringing soup when his lady is sick and hopes it isn’t a problem that he likes to drive.
I smiled to myself and knew I had to wink at him. An hour later, he emailed me back. I get the impression he’s not looking to mess around and I find that extremely refreshing. There’s a good chance we’ll have a date this week, but I know not to get too excited.
What’s strange is that I found myself questioning his motives. I discussed this with my friend Nicole and she essentially affirmed how jaded we have become. How fucked up is it when we can’t just accept that a nice guy on paper could actually be a nice guy in real life?
How can we not be jaded by this point? Hello, Ethan is the perfect example. Sounds like he’s using online dating to play the field. I’m glad you’ve found someone else to occupy your attention. That really is the key to not getting burn out in the online world.
I still have my own issues of getting bored with the nice ones, I’m happy to see you view that as a good thing 🙂 Maybe you’re not so jaded after all.
I don’t quite remember how I came about your profile but I’m glad I did. I too haven had my fair share of dabbling in the online dating world. Back in november I actually met my current boyfriend and unlike any guy I’ve met previously, him and I are actually really working out pretty good. Hang in there, you’ll find one out of the millions.
Ps. New follower 🙂
I think it’s just wayyyy easier to be cynical about things, so that when they don’t work out (as most won’t), we still have our skin in tact because we didn’t really give it a shot! Good for you for getting out of your comfort zone!
Here’s to hoping that Nate really, truly is a great guy!
I hope Nate’s a good guy too! I’m finding this internet dating fascinating! Of course you’re going to question these guys’ motives after some of the experiences you’ve had! Keep on keepin’ on! That’s just how dating guys, internet or not.
Ugh. Online dating. It’s funny how you can find some really great guys and some totally skeevy guys. I hope Nate’s a good one!
I hope he is just a nice guy!
It’s easy to start questioning motives when you’ve had not so great experiences. I will keep my fingers crossed that this one breaks the mold! You deserve it 🙂
Kind, funny AND smart is pretty much the dating trifecta, with kind being the operative word. Good stuff.
Oh, I could talk your ear off.
My husband is/was a nice guy.
I was so suspicious of him. My guard always up, my butt ready to hightail at the first sign of any trouble.
Poor guy.
Guess what? 17 years later? He’s still just a nice guy.
But, you see, at age 35–when we met, I was SO jaded, even by your standards.
After seeing some of the pieces of work out there, it’s only natural to wonder if nice guys really DO exist! Hope you’ve found one!! 😉
On a happy and hopeful note … my sis and her hubby tied the knot last weekend. They met on a dating site! Yay!! Oh, and he’s an absolute gem who adores her!
Thought I’d tell you the latest wink I’ve gotten online was from a 59 year old man…somehow I don’t think that fits into my 25-40 age range I have listed
Darlin’…I have been married to Neal for 5 years this September and I STILL question some of his motives and STILL wonder if he really is that nice of a guy or if someday I’m going to run into his other family across town. Cynicism sometimes keeps us out of the Heartbreak Hotel. I have to say, though, that the stories of the dates and emails gone wrong makes for GREAT writing material. I would keep that compiled just in case you are approached to write a book…a book that I would absolutely buy and pass out to my single friends.
Oh – I like this Nate – a picture of him and his mom and beagle pups – I can only hope my son posts those nice kind of things if he ever has a cupid profile. I hope you give him a shot.
And stay far away from the “manhood guy” sounds like a real tool 🙁
PS My hubbies name is Nate. ‘Tis a good name.
LOL. I hear you. Are nice guys unicorns? No, I think they do exist. I was just telling my mom that I am so suspicious of men. This was after she asked me when I was gonna get married. I thought that was something that only happened in movies.
Anyways, this guys sounds sweet, kind and caring. Plus, you already sorta know him. Fun. Fingers crossed!!
Of course you are questioning his motives. What else can we expect to do when there are guys like Ethan in the world? Nate sounds like a good one though. I like the name, I like the pic with Mommy, and the beagles are cool too. Fingers crossed for a normal member of the male species.
Sounds promising! I don’t blame you for questioning his motives though – you’re not jaded, just realistic! Gotta protect yourself. 🙂
Cracking up over the descriptions of “manhood” – HA!
this online dating service sounds pretty positive — better than having to ‘kiss a lot of frogs’ anyway — geez you had to weed through some doofusus, though — I am rooting for Nate and hoping your date has you even more excited and interested in his potential…and cudos for putting yourself out there…
probably because there are far too many nice guys on paper who turn out to be jerks in real life. it’s not like you just made that instinct up out of nowhere. and all those poor genuinely-nice-in-real-life guys have to suffer. well, i hope he really actually is a nice guy in real life and that, if nothing else, you two can have some fun!
my single mom friend is on OK Cupid too. she’s got a hot and heavy sexting thing going with someone on there right now.
as for the new boy you met, keep the faith!
SaucyB’s last blog… Geeking Out at Liberty Science Center
http://bit.ly/g0YEcH
I hope he does turn out to be just as great in person as he is on paper! The nice guy does exist, I found one! 😉
I so need to stop here more often… maybe I’ll finally work up the courage! I’m following, but for some reason, your posts aren’t showing up in my feed!
I think it helps to not get jaded by trying to see each guy as a friend first. Then you won’t be disappointed if things don’t work out because you never expect too much at the start. Some of my single friends say “I think he could be the one” before they’ve even met the guy. Then end up disappointed. Try thinking “he could be a friend.” Then a true love can grow from that.
I know it’s hard too do though. My hubby and I were friends before we dated.
BTW, dropping by from SITS.
I, too, am cynical and jaded. And want so badly NOT to be. But online dating has a way of doing that to you. Like the “man” in my linked post…met him online. Can you spell disaster?
I really am not the best person for dating sites. It drives me bananas. Last week – spent over 7 hours skyping with some guy, and he was always the one initiating video conversation. It was not as if I was the one chasing after him!! Then suddenly he is never online on Skype, but he is online over on the site. Too busy, my ass as you rightly said. I just deleted him. As much as we got on like a house on fire, it takes two. Pity..he was cute too.