I can’t believe that I’m just 14 weeks away from delivery. So crazy right? Also, some days I worry that I talk about pregnancy too much, here and in person. Do I? You’d tell me if I did… right?
The truth of the matter is, I write what I know and (in this instance), I have NO idea what I’m doing. Every time I open my registry or get recommendations from friends I feel overwhelmed. Why can’t I see what I’ve added? This is the least user-friendly site I’ve ever seen! Do I really need this many bibs and washcloths? Can I do this? I mean, yes of course it’s what I have wanted for so very long but what if I’m a really shitty mother? Also there are things that I think are pretty normal—to not feel baby kicking all the time (though thank Buddha I feel her nearly every day now)—but then there’s the stuff no one has ever mentioned to me before like why does she punch me in the vagina? And what is this discharge (TMI? Apparently that’s very normal and who the fuck knew? Not me!). Then there are the really fun side effects which I will totally spare you from because I’m nice like that, but there isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think I’m transferring my nervous energy onto her. You guys, legit question–what if I give birth to a female Woody Allen?
The books are the worst. The smiling self assured faces of a woman stuffed with a prosthetic belly who has no idea what it feels like to spend half the night worrying that baby will come early and will have to sleep in a bassinet above the dog’s crate because the nursery won’t be done in time. Breathe.
Thinking: about the week ahead. Wondering where I should/can pick up reasonably priced decorations for a woodland themed baby shower. Also thinking about my glucose test tomorrow morning
Enjoying: the fact that I took Milo out already and he’s sleeping peacefully on the bed now. I give it another 30 minutes until he’s in my face again, but at least now I can get some stuff done
Feeling: baby kicks!
Wearing: a tie-dyed Sand Cloud Marine Life sweatshirt, maternity leggings
Needing: to pass a glucose test tomorrow and so many things I can’t think straight
Listening: to the hum of the computer
Making: plans to see a girlfriend
Eating: an almond butter flavored Perfect Bar
Drinking: water with fresh lemon juice