One of my friends recently recommended a book called Best Friends Forever by Irene S. Levine which has me all in the thinks lately. I often stop to consider the power of female friendships and how lucky I am to be surrounded by women who continue to lift and uplift, as well as the ones who have supported me along this incredible journey in life—even if only for a reason or a season. I noticed just how pervasive this theme is in the books I read and the shows and films I am drawn to. While watching season seven of Orange is the New Black, I was struck by how women from different backgrounds come together in the face of great adversity to support one another (perhaps because there is a common enemy??) and man, I will miss that show when it’s all over.
This past Friday I got together with two former coworkers for sushi and we caught up after months apart (pic above)—these are friends I’ve held on to for 10+ years, and though the three of us are just a little bit different, we click and always have the best time together. We toasted life with wine in a can on the Hudson River and shared intimate secrets like you only do with close friends. I left with a full heart (and a cloudy head because too much wine, ha!).
On Saturday, I introduced Bryan to a friend I’ve known most of my life (30+ years!) at her daughter’s first birthday party. We lost touch for a bit along the way, but gravitated towards one another through common experiences like pregnancy loss and I feel so lucky to still have her in my life.
Then there’s my bestie (another lifer!), who is vacationing but still sending me texts about minutiae (we are actually planning a mini getaway soon ourselves). And the aforementioned friend I’ve known through blogging who I’m lucky enough to have a lady date with this week; she’s a secret keeper and she can trust that I’ll be buried with hers, too.
There are countless others, but much less than I’ve had in previous years. I value the quality of these friendships in a way I can’t often express and in a way I know most other females can understand.
Inevitably there are heartaches that come with friendship, and there are some that I’ll always reel from. I don’t think that overwhelming sadness ever truly goes away when a friendship you cherished is no longer in your life, but maybe the hole that swallows you up and makes you feel incomplete gets patched up with happy memories with other friends along the way.
Who knows. Life is such a funny thing sometimes, isn’t it?
I recently thought of an old friend, my former boss, who was kind of a big deal in my life back when I was starting out at a new job. We had the same off-brand sense of humor and I looked forward to our daily chats about work, life, our shared distrust of our boss, and everything else under the sun. Our friendship started to come undone when I found out she was pregnant through a mutual friend. When I asked her about it, she said she didn’t want to tell me because she thought it would upset me (damn infertility makes you feel like a social pariah). I was crushed that she wouldn’t tell me something so monumental in her life, but I let it go because I was glad to share in her joy. When I lost my job, she stopped communicating with me entirely.
It keeps me up sometimes because I worry for her, as I do all the others I’ve lost along the way. Maybe I was just her reason and she was just my season.
Anyway, I’m all over the map today with my writing (step inside my head, y’all!). The book I’m reading has a section on movies that really get to the heart of female relationships and I realize I haven’t watched most of these (I’ve crossed out the ones I’ve seen. It’s embarrassingly light, lol). How about you? Are you familiar with these movies, and do you have some to add? One day I’ll Netflix and chill with all of them 🙂
- Mystic Pizza
- Steel Magnolias
- Baghdad Café
- Thelma and Louise (I KNOW! WHY HAVEN’T I SEEN THIS YET??)
- Fried Green Tomatoes
A League of Their Own
- First Wives Club
- Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
- The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Sex and the City