For better or for worse, people manage to surprise me every day. Sometimes I know it’s unintentional, or at least I’d like to think it is when a stranger brushes past me to cut me in line. Maybe I was wearing my invisible suit that day, or perhaps they have more important places they need to be. Other times, it’s thoughtful, like when a friend reaches out to say hello and to tell me she’s thinking of me, just because.
The other day, I met up with one of my friends and over beer/wine and yummy eats we discussed what it really means to be present in a friendship and how bogus it is to say that time is a factor that prevents us from checking in. Though I know my friend and I don’t have the chance to see each other as often as we’d like (or even as often as we used to), when we can’t meet up in person, we check in on the phone or shoot each other a quick email.
I mean, maybe I’m oversimplifying here, but what prevents us—REALLY—from taking five minutes out of our day to show friends we care? I mean, sure, ten minutes is even better, but do what you can and prioritize the people in your life who mean the world to you.
Enough with the bullshitting. Stop making excuses.
Time is a precious commodity for us all. We all wish there was more of it but there’s not one of us who needs it more than the next. I’m sorry, I just don’t think so. And I could rattle off the many obligations that I have in my life, but really—no one cares and I realize that. Because you are busy doing your own thing, too.
I want us to stop coming up with excuses.
If you have no intention of being my friend, stop telling me you’re going to call, because it feels empty, insincere, and dishonest. And truthfully? It also hurts my feelings. You don’t have to say that when I already know that we are drifting and throwing me a raft would mean you are falling short in another area of your life. I don’t want you to resent me. You have the time to be my friend; I’m just not high on your priorities list right now.
Actions speak louder than words and sometimes what we do is surprising to those around us.
Also I realize this blog post sounds totally judgy, and that’s totally not my intention at all.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, my favorite day of the year, and I’m all kinds of pensive—perhaps because it’s the first year in a long time that I won’t be spending the day with my family; or maybe because I feel I have some friends that are drifting and it’s breaking my heart in a million pieces.
I guess what I mean to say is that it takes so little to show you care. XOXO and I love you all for listening.