Iva of Why I’m Cray is one of the most profound bloggers I’ve met since I started sharing my own thoughts online. If you don’t already know who she is, it’s high time you take a moment and check out her incredible blog. I’ll wait right here. Just make sure to bring a cup of coffee and stay for a while. You’ll leave enlightened; I know I always do whenever I visit her online home.
She recently wrote a fascinating post called The Sort-of Scientific Breakdown of Giving Fucks, which focuses on the science behind this phenomenon and why “giving a fuck was an evolutionary necessity.” You had to care if you wanted to ensure your survival by being a part of a pack. Seriously amazing stuff that Iva put together that has to do with Woolly Mammoths and Saber-Tooth Tigers. Go forth and read 🙂
But today I want to examine the emotional side of this debate. How does one go about not caring what others think or say, and is it really possible to absolutely, beyond a shadow of a doubt, NOT give fucks when your insides are screaming and your emotions ride a rollercoaster of awkward feels?
How do you:
- Not give a fuck when you fall down a flight of stairs carrying a plate of food that splatters on the wall at a fancy dinner party? (This one has actually happened to me because I have the grace of a swan)
- Not give a damn shit when you bump into an ex or a fling or that guy you lusted over years ago? How do you stop yourself from making comparisons and thinking back and forward simultaneously?
- Not give fucks when you realize that one big part of your life has suddenly shifted and you’re forced to come up with a new backup plan?
I’ve struggled for years to not place unnecessary emphasis on what others think of me. I have my family to thank for encouraging me to be weird and different and comfortable in my skin, especially on those days when my hair wouldn’t oblige and I couldn’t find smaller glasses and nothing I wore fit in with what was currently (or really ever) in fashion.
Thinking back, I am grateful to have marched to a different drum. But that doesn’t mean that things roll off my back any easier or that I can simply compartmentalize my emotions.
Because on some days I give more shits and fucks than I ever should and I wish that I didn’t. I don’t know how to turn the volume down on my internal nagging voice, the one that starts off innocently enough and then races quickly to the edge of insanity.
I believe it is absolutely an art to be able to say the following in the face of it all:
“I embrace this moment and I am happy for living through it. And I also don’t care what anyone thinks or says or does because I am my own person.”
How much importance do you place on what others think/say of you, and how do you manage to not give a fuck?