Before you all let out a simultaneous groan, I would like to apologize for dedicating an entire post to this tawdry reality TV program. I’m not proud of it. But you’re also reading this, so maybe we can bond in our mutual disgust… and shared guilty pleasure.
I have been watching the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise for many embarassing seasons and, before I met Bryan, I often found myself wondering what I would be like as a contestant on this show. I even announced to a few of my friends that if Ben were chosen as bachelor, I would consider throwing my hat in the ring. I’m in the targeted demographic, have a steady job, come from a good, upstanding family, and still have all my teeth. Though I’ve never seen any of the girls sporting a ‘fro quite like mine, I figured a bit of styling and some tight dresses and I would blend right into a Bachelor lineup.
But each season I get discouraged by the terrible choices the eligible bachelors/bachelorettes make and I wonder if they’re being provoked to keep certain crazies on for the ratings, or because they are hoping to get a certain hottie into the overnight “no cameras allowed” bow-chicka-bow-wow suite.
So here is where life is different for those of us who date the old fashioned way. On the Bachelor/Bachelorette, you:
1) show up, look dolled up for the cameras, and enjoy months of luxurious accommodations, first-class travel to exotic locations, and the best dining ABC’s budget can afford. I dunno about you, but I could fall in love with that lifestyle very easily, too. How about the real world scenario most of us have to live in, which includes cooking together at home because going out all the time is financially taxing. And forget trips to Switzerland; many of us would settle for a trip down the shore for a long weekend.
2) get to date 20 men/women at the same time! This show is a polygamist’s dream come true. Every day you get up and beautiful men (women) are fawning all over you and even fighting for your hand in marriage. Imagine! Real world: Dating isn’t a la carte, and NO you cannot have the steak AND the fish. Greedy bastard. You get to know one person on an intimate level. The good, the bad, and the ugly are exposed for what they’re worth.
3) have no time for fighting when you only get to spend an hour every two weeks together. The goal of this show is to meet the one person you are most compatible with in hopes of proposing and spending the rest of your lives together. How can you possibly marry someone you’ve never fought with? I’m not saying excessive fighting is essential to a relationship, but how you make it through those rough patches can determine how you’ll survive long-term.
Bryan and I just had our first argument together after a solid five months. In many ways we are still celebrating the honeymoon phase of our relationship, but I’m glad we were able to see how we could handle our first disagreement. Because, as I touched on earlier, relationships aren’t about private jets and ziplining. They teach us how to deal with socks next to the hamper and whose turn it is to take out the trash.
4) ordinarily would have to wade through a lot more frogs to find your prince/princess charming (and I’m not talking about physical attributes here). How many of us have gone out with the guy who has psychotic tendencies or the charmer who doesn’t let you get a word in edgewise because he is a high profile lawyer who’d rather scoff at your credentials? The men/women chosen to appear on this show are all beautiful and many of them are relatively successful: from sweet Southern belle Casie B. to the funny Ph.D. student Emily. What this show lacks in diversity and depth it makes up in entertainment and shock value, I guess (see Courtney).
5) have a really cheesy soundtrack to accompany the poignant moments in your life. In particular, I’m talking about the David Gray song that was popular more than 10 years ago and appears to be the only song Bachelor Ben can play on the piano.
All that aside, I’m incredibly disappointed in this year’s bachelor. I had high hopes for Ben. He was handsome, sweet, heartbroken, and sensitive when the season started. His decision to pick model Courtney makes me question his taste in women and judgment. Yes, it’s a huge red flag when one girl in the house doesn’t play nice with all the others. And I think she was also interested in winning the show more than she was interested in winning his heart. Did I just write that? Someone shoot me. What did you think? Did you watch?
I’ve had some problems with my blog lately which I’m still trying to fix. Please bear with me, but let me know if you notice anything funky (you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org). And today is the day I get my tattoo. Wish me luck!
Also, if you haven’t already, please enter my giveaway for an awesome gift basket!