On Monday, I had a spring in my step. At 10am, the time of day when I usually head to my favorite neighborhood coffee shop with my favorite coworker Alex for my second dose of caffeine, I broke out in a spontaneous “I got some” song and dance in the elevator (it’s really more of a jig with the words “I got some” repeated over and over). The day itself was rather uneventful but extremely busy so I didn’t give much thought to the fact that I hadn’t heard anything from Cody.
On Tuesday I had dinner with an old buddy from college after work at the Blue Ribbon sushi restaurant on 58th Street. I thought it was strange that Cody still hadn’t called but I didn’t want to freak out and get all girly. Even though he did say he would text me when he made it back to the city on Monday. He’s probably just really busy I told myself and then patted self on back for not picking up the phone to call/text him first.
By Wednesday I started freaking out a bit. Did he not enjoy himself Sunday night? Was I the only one who wanted a repeat of our hot and steamy evening together? The scenes played on a loop in my head: the way he threw me on the bed, the feel of his strong muscles underneath my fingers, the dirty talk… But then the text that I had been waiting for finally came in to quell my fears.
“Very excited about hockey season.”
HOCKEY SEASON??
I thought it was a kiss-off (sadness) but another one came in later on in which he told me he was lying in bed naked. I’m assuming he was thinking of me though he didn’t actually put that part in.
Wednesday night = happy hour. Thursday night = Bikram. I was too liquored up and dehydrated to worry about Cody both of those evenings.
On Friday while I was at the Beacon Theater to see the band moe., I received another mysterious text: “knowing that you are dancing turns me on right now.” But no mention of another romp in the sack. Am I overreacting or is this weird?
Why am I hung up on the fact that he hasn’t called to see me again? We’re not in a relationship and I think we both just needed a good fuck. But a very large part of me is obsessed with having sex with him again. I’m hoping that will dissipate when I meet someone else who might be interested in a similar arrangement. And also, maybe—just maybe—I would like validation of the fact that he had a nice time with me as well.
So much for the theory that I can have sex without the emotional attachment.
Maybe it is just because it’s hockey season. Hockey season turns otherwise very horny men into libidoless unics (have no idea how that word is spelled).
Why not just call or text and say you want to fuck him again? I think authenticity is totally undervalued.
.-= Sandra´s last blog ..A damn damsell wearing my dress =-.
He’s keeping in contact to keep the door open. If he texts about being “turned on” or “thinking of you again” tell him to come over and prove it. You should call the shots and make him whipped! On a side note, the jig should not be done for Cody as he might never text you again after seeing it. I mean it’s cute and all, but in a “Yikes…., I can’t believe she just danced like that!”
LOL Oh honey there is always some bit of emotion with sex, it’s just a fact of life. You, like me, found a new addictive “drug” and you want to know that you are a new addictive “drug” for him. It’s completely wonderful when you find that kind of heat with someone in the sack. I understand how odd the randomness of his texts seem but I would take it as a good sign. He’s befuddled enough himself he’s not exactly sure what to say. Just try to relax be upfront and honest with him about how much you enjoyed everything and he’ll let you know in one way or another where he stands on the whole thing. Also if he wouldn’t have enjoyed everything on Saturday he wouldn’t have spent the night with you cuddled up and repeated everything the next morning, he would have just left after the first show.
.-= Bonda84´s last blog ..Otherwise Disclosed =-.
I was never good at the sex without emotion thing. I always got overly attached and did the girly thing you are trying to avoid. I would love to give you some advice, but I have nothing.
.-= Shana´s last blog ..Open Letter Thursday… =-.
OK, I’m trying to figure something out here.
Do you WANT to be someone who can have sex without expectations?
I mean, is that who you want to be?
Just knowing you more would help me reread that post a bit more clearly.
Man, do I sound like a B or what??
.-= Alexandra´s last blog ..Taming Insanity- You Say Why- Yes! Yes Yes! =-.
LOL, no that doesn’t make you sound like a b*tch at all, BITCH! I kid 😉
I wanted to attempt to have sex without the emotional attachment, something I’ve never been able to do. But also, I’m just familarizing myself with what’s out there after being in a relationship for such a long time. So I thought it might be fun to have a fun little sexy romp without getting all girly about it… but maybe I just can’t and maybe that’s okay, too. But I wouldn’t say it’s what I aspire to be or anything 🙂 Does that make any sense at all?
I am absolutely incapable of having sex without an emotional attachment, so I will be no good for advice on how to make that happen.
BUT it sounds like he’s keeping the lines of communication open for a reason. I’d jump on it (pun maybe intended). I’m all for making the first move.
.-= Salt´s last blog ..It’s all coming together! =-.
I’m in agreement with all the commenters! I’ve tried to put on my best Samantha Jones mask and just have sex b/c I want to have it – no strings attached. But then the strings start growing. All that to say that I know how you feel…especially about wanting a repeat performance! I think romp #2 is in the cards (I mean, he’s a guy!), but continue diverting your attention elsewhere like you’ve been doing so that the strings don’t get quite such a stong hold.
What the hell do I know though!?!? You’ve been reading my blog – hee hee 🙂
.-= prettylittletangents´s last blog ..The Aftermath =-.
I gotta tune in to you more. You have been having some good times!
I think it is almost impossible not to get emotionally attached but as long as nobody tries to make it into a marriage then the emotions might be tolerable. I have and bad luck at that. So, I really don’t know but I’ve heard that is how it happens.
.-= keishua´s last blog ..Sweat Peas =-.
I would think it’s hard for most women to have sex without that attachment. I think this is a case of something sounding good in theory, but it pretty difficult to put into practice. Good luck!
.-= liz´s last blog ..Word Up- YO!- Edition 19 =-.
I was very impressed that you were trying to have sex without dependency because I’ve never been able to do so. I think evolution just hard-wired us to be attached to those we dally with, so it’s not a failure if you are feeling a wee bit attached and anxious. I agree with the other fine ladies that he is keeping the door open for you, and I lurved the suggestion of your favorite co-worker. Just go ahead and triple-dog dare him to prove how horny he is or how naked he is. Men are incapable of resisting a triple-dog dare.
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Suck it- The Ohio State University!! =-.
This is phunny. When I broke up with The Sports Writer last year I intended to have my Year of The Ho but I lasted six weeks lol.
It’s that crazy Oxytocin…it gets me EVERY TIME. I had to work EXTRA hard to keep my feelings in check.
.-= Tex In The City´s last blog ..Am I The Same Girl Yes- I Am…Yes I Am =-.
I don’t think emotional attachment can be avoided. But those texts? Mean he is thinking about you – a lot. But he’s a boy, so that’s as eloquent as he can get. At least…that’s what I think.
oh boys! especially 20-something boys! they’re so strange. i think the mere fact he’s texting you at all is a sign he liked what happened. of course i don’t know him at all, but my guess is he’d like to remain in contact and good standing with you for the moment he is ready to do some horizontal things again. i’d say forget about what he’s doing/saying and think about what you want. do you want another romp? then suggest it to him (he won’t turn you down). or if you thought that was fun and now moving on, then feel free to say yay or nay when he inevitably asks you in the future. as far as i can see, you hold all the cards my dear!
ps – what a fun/scandalous blog you have here! 🙂
This is very suspicious. On the one hand the flattering comment about your dancing 😉 on the other hand, why does he not pick up the phone and call?????? I know I’m old and out of touch but I would imagine at least one call during the week would be feasible as opposed to texting….
If another “opportunity” comes along I’d seize it. And emotional attachment is unavoidable unless you were raised like I was 😀 It is very easy for me to detach.
.-= carma´s last blog ..Pretty People to the Front of the Line- Please! =-.
Honestly I don’t think that emotional attachment can be avoided. Nonetheless he could have at least been like “Hey, had a great time on Sunday.” Boys are lame.
This boy is a strange cat.
I definitely think that he’s keeping the lines open for a future sexual encounter. If you think you can handle it without the emotional attachment.. then go for it. I know from experience that it’s hard to do have sex with someone and then just go on about your business. Sometimes you’re attached even if you don’t want to be.
Good luck and keep us updated.
call me old fashioned, but i’d be annoyed by the texts–certainly not the same as a call. AND a little ‘i had a great time’ never hurt anybody. geez.
He’s playing the coquette; confusing you with a historically feminine art of seduction. Over time if he continues with this, he’ll be hot than cold, close and then distant…