The other day I was greeted by Eric’s status update in my Facebook feed and I thought back to a time when I was fresh meat in the dating pool and he had asked me out on a date. Unsure of the dating rules after such a long sabbatical, I allowed a mutual friend to set us up. All I really knew about Eric was that he was an NJB (nice Jewish boy) and that we had a musical/spiritual connection in common.
I was mostly nervous but very excited about our mid-week date, and made sure to obsess over the right outfit to wear and a good meeting place that seemed both casual and convenient enough for our first encounter.
Except that our date never happened.
I was in the middle of putting on a shoe and looking for my apartment keys when my phone rang.
NJB: “Hey Charlotte! You haven’t left yet, have you?”
ME: “No, not yet…”
NJB: “GOOD! Good… I mean, I was thinking about going to a yoga class tonight with Stephanie.” [NOTE: I did not know Stephanie] “You don’t mind if we take a rain check, do you?”
Was he serious? I was getting stood up… for YOGA?!
Word got back around that Stephanie was a friend with benefits. I can’t say that I was heartbroken as I didn’t have much invested, but I was appalled that someone could be so thoughtless and irresponsible. NO, we would never go out on another date and THANKS for the frayed nerves and wasted outfit.
Why do I bring this up? Lately I’ve heard this happen from one girlfriend after another. One by one many of these beautiful single ladies are dipping their toes in the dating pool and swiping their fingers to find a decent Tinder match (I’m starting to wonder if there is such a thing).
I think the problem with dating today stems from the fact that we live in a society where anything can be had 24/7. It is a time when people call 911 to report that Facebook is down. (For the love of all things holy, why is there so much stupid?) I find it baffling that with the swipe of a finger, you can order takeout as easily as you can a date for a Friday night, but it is this convenience that allows us to blur the lines between right and wrong.
This is as much a message for the woman as it is for the men, by the way. Here are a few good old-fashioned dating rules I hope we never lose sight of:
- If you make plans, keep them. Unless there is a doctor’s note or legitimate reason for cancelling, a first impression means everything.
- Don’t use this opportunity to bide time until something better comes along. Not only is it completely disrespectful to your date, you may miss out on a wonderful opportunity to get to know someone on a much deeper level.
- Don’t settle. For obvious reasons.
- Pick up the phone. Women are attracted to the sound of your voice and they like to know that you know how to use your phone for something other than Candy Crush and texting.
- Don’t pick a posh place and then bitch when the bill comes in. What’s wrong with you?
What would you add to the list? What’s the worst dating offense that has ever happened to you?