What started off innocently enough with harmless flirting quickly became a torrid whirlwind of steamy email exchanges, after work drinks with sex eyes, and casual conversations of where our first sexual encounter would take place. He had placed a spell on me. I couldn’t help but get lost in his large brown eyes and was instantly attracted to our 13 year age gap.
He was forbidden fruit and I was hungry.
All day long I would find myself fantasizing about the weight of his body on top of mine in a sweaty embrace. I wanted to wrap my legs around his lower torso and scream, writhe, kick, and orgasm. His claims reassured me that he had what it took to bring me to that happy place and I was convinced that age had granted him the experience.
One afternoon I received an email from him asking if I could spend the night the next evening. He told me we would listen to music and talk, which I assumed was code for engaging in lewd acts between the sheets until it was time to get ready for work the next morning. Naturally I agreed. The next day I rummaged through my closet and found my pink ruffle skirt, form-fitting top, and high heels, making sure each curl was perfectly in place. I practically danced into the office that day, my head in the clouds with thoughts of what the evening would bring.
Several hours later, I received an email from him. He was terribly sorry but something came up or he wasn’t over the last girlfriend, I can’t remember and I didn’t care. It wasn’t the first time he had fed me empty promises and backed out of our plans. And after months of playing therapist to him, I was fed up. I had needs, too, but my hunger for his touch was nothing compared to the size of his ego. He simply wanted the chase and was satisfied with the knowledge that he had already had me. A man in his mid 40s, and yet, not unlike the 20- and 30-year-olds I had encountered in my lifetime.
“I shaved every place where you been.”
That evening I showered and erased the image of his hands groping for my body in the night.
He never deserved the chance.
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